1.When I was about 15, my parents walked into my room while I was asleep, saying, “Merry Christmas!”, and placed a pack of Gatorade and pair of Joe Boxer pajama pants on the floor. We’re a family that can’t spend much, so I wasn’t expecting any presents. I thought that was the oddest pair of presents that I had ever received, but I was happy because I loved Gatorade, haha. Mine was a coat hanger. A simple coat hanger. My cousin gave it to me. When she left I couldn’t stop laughing.
2.I used to get the weirdest Christmas gifts from my Dad and stepmom. Once I got a half-full jar of rubbing alcohol and a half-full bag of cotton swabs A year later I got used KangaRoos tennis shoes that had dirt caked in the treads and a used Kleenex wadded up into the zipper pocket. They were size 6 and my feet were 9.5. More typical were things my stepmom wrapped up after cleaning the garage, or the “free gifts” she got with her Avon orders, so stuff like a Chapstick being “hugged” by a tiny koala in a Santa hat, or a trial size of “Silicone Glove” moisturizer stuffed into a snowman’s asshole.
3.Mine was a coat hanger. A simple coat hanger. My cousin gave it to me. When she left I couldn’t stop laughing.
4.Once I got a box of dirt, which was confusing but by then I was inured to strange and undazzling gifts. However, apparently there were daffodil bulbs in the dirt. Well, okay then.
5. An edited father’s day card from my friend!